


Lookout

by chillsoya



Series: Random Ship Generator [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Coming Out, Dumbledore's Army, F/F, Ginny is not, Gossip, Horcrux Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, Internalised Homophobia, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of the Cruciatus curse, One sided Parvati Patil/Lavender Brown, Parvati is Awkward, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Pining Ginny, Pre-Battle of Hogwarts, Random Pairing Generator, Second War with Voldemort, Second Wizarding War, Set when Harry is Horcrux Hunting and Ginny is in Hogwarts, Sort of a semi-romantic arrangement between Ginny and Parvati, Trauma, mentions of punishment, not necessarily romantic, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 17:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chillsoya/pseuds/chillsoya
Summary: Ginny isn't really over Harry but she's okay without him, too; there's more important things to think about. Parvati is trying to get used to her best friend's withdrawal by throwing herself into helping the DA. The two do lookouts at night from the Astronomy Tower, trying to predict what's swiftly drawing closer, and get to talking about feelings in a time where pragmatism is key.





	Lookout

**Author's Note:**

> part of a series of fics based on pairings from a Random Pairing Generator: http://harryspotter.tumblr.com/hpshipgenerator

“I used to feel on top of the world up here,” Parvati sighed, sitting underneath one of the windows in the Astronomy tower. Ginny had been looking out for something undisclosed, and Parvati felt better not to leave her alone. It was dangerous just being in this school now, never mind sneaking out after curfew. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to look down. It would be so easy to fall out...  
“And now?” Ginny asked, not looking at her. Parvati shrugged.  
“It’s got a bad feel to it.”

Ginny rolled her eyes, turning away from the window. Someone had started crossing out over the grounds from the Forbidden Forest - it was time for them to leave.  
“You really do go in for all that stuff, huh?” she snorted, reaching a hand out to help Parvati up. Parvati raised a brow at her elegantly and tilted her head.   
“Hogwarts has memories engraved in every wall. You’d be an idiot not to.”

They stared at one another for a moment before listening for footsteps. Making their way down the spiral staircase, so close that if Parvati stopped too suddenly Ginny would walk right into her, they held their breath. It was hard to say if there would be someone at the bottom, waiting them out. The Carrows weren’t always straight forward enough to come up and accost them on the spot.

The Gryffindor common room was barren, but then so it would be, seeing as it was 2am. Ginny plopped down on the sofa and Parvati sat next to her.  
“D’you hate being away from your sister?” Ginny asked, more tactful than she had been before. Parvati shrugged, again, because she regularly struggled with what to say these days. It was hard to continue being quick witted if acting on impulse could end up with the Cruciatus curse.   
“She’s fine. Better at keeping out from people’s noses than I am,” she laughed bitterly. Padma was more worried for Parvati than the other way around. The former had gotten herself punished several times by this point. Now, instead of being flippant with the people she had never gotten along with - Parkinson, Malfoy, Zabini - she had to drop her eyes to conceal the outright hatred there.

Ginny hummed thoughtfully at that and nodded, staring into the dying fire. There was a scuffle upstairs as someone went to get a drink of water.  
“You must hate being away from your family,” Parvati said. It must be difficult having her whole family so far away, and under constant threat for being in the Order. Ginny was lucky she hadn’t been targeted for extra punishments for any small misdemeanour in a DADA class, just for coming from a ‘blood traitor’ family.  
“It’s fine,” Ginny replied, closing the conversation. It was clearly not fine. “This was my home as much as the Burrow was been for the last 6 years.”   
“Emphasis on _was_ ,” Parvati pointed out. Ginny sighed and looked over to her. 

“You never used to hang around with me. We barely even spoke apart from about Harry or things to do with him.” Parvati blushed and smiled ruefully.  
“I really believed for a minute that he had a Hungarian Horntail tattoo, you know.” Ginny grinned.   
“I’m a good liar. But really…You always hung around with Lavender. And now you’re hanging around with me. I know it sounds rude, but I’m always wary of people who change suddenly like that, nowadays.”

It made sense. People usually had ulterior motives now, though in their immediate circle the motives were generally to avoid being alone in the face of all the fear throughout the school. Parvati had had people appealing to her for help with many things, because she was a Prefect with good grades and was favoured by McGonagall for always standing her ground.

“Lavender isn’t herself anymore. She’s too afraid,” Parvati admitted, knowing her friend would be furious if she knew what she was saying, even though it was true. “And I want to help her, I do, and I try to! But I’m doing my best not to be scared because I’ve got to get through this, somehow. We all do. And I don’t want her attitude towards it all to rub off on me.”

Lavender had done her best in the face of all the adversity around the school. She’d essentially managed to network with a lot of the other girls who were finding it as difficult as she was. But that had died out quickly. Lavender had been upset enough by Ron leaving Hogwarts, even after the end of their relationship, and had eventually drawn into herself.

Parvati still found her mooning over Ron annoying, too, so it was good to spend time with other people.

She hadn’t noticed Ginny staring at her at first, only catching the redhead out when she glanced up. Ginny’s gaze didn’t falter - it was analytical, curious.  
“That’s quite cold,” she finally spoke, and Parvati sighed.   
“We all need to keep our strength up. It’s not me she’s after, anyway.” Ginny smirked.   
“Still not over Ron?” she asked, a little incredulous. Parvati grinned.   
“Nope,” she confirmed, popping the ‘p’ in a flippant way that showed just what she thought of that. Ginny laughed and when that tailed off, she seemed pensive. 

“D’you like Lavender as more than a friend?” Ginny asked curiously, not seeming judgemental in the slightest but still catching Parvati off guard. The truth was, _yes,_ she’d liked Lavender in more than a platonic way since they were 13, but it hadn’t been something she’d fully come to terms with until it was too late. Her parents wouldn’t approve, for a start, nor she was sure Lavender would take it well either. Just the thought of it made her wince, and the fact that she had taken so long to accept it made her feel cowardly.   
“Not really,” she half-lied, looking down into her lap. “I used to, yeah, but you can’t pine after someone for your whole life.”   
“So in a way, this is just an opportunity for you to put some distance between you both.” Merlin, Ginny really didn’t mince her words.

“You could look at it like that,” she agreed noncommittally, shifting in her seat. Ginny smiled and reached over, touching her arm lightly.  
“It’s fine. I’m not judging you for it - I kind of understand.”

Parvati looked at Ginny inquisitively; she had known that Harry and Ginny had broken up, of course, because Ginny had been very open about it. ( _‘It wasn’t a mutual agreement,’_ she had been heard saying at one point to a curious Luna who had only smiled.) She certainly still had feelings for him, by the way her face contorted when he was brought up, even if she didn’t seem outwardly upset with him for leaving her. Parvati had assumed they’d get back together once Harry got back, anyway. The part of her mind that whispered _if_ _he comes back_ was, as usual, quickly silenced.  
  
“I’d like to pine over him and hope for him to want to get back together with me when he comes back, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense for me right now,” she explained curtly. “I have a lot to do.”  
“Pining wouldn’t really suit you.” Ginny laughed at that, shaking her head.  
“I guess. I just…. Well….” her bravado started to falter, and Parvati straightened her spine, knowing that they weren’t joking at all anymore. “I’m afraid to lose him entirely. I’m lonely. I think I’d always be lonely with him, though, and when he comes back… _If_ he comes back, I want him to know I’ve been trying to help, but that it wasn’t just for him. It was for me and everyone else that I care about, too.”

Awkwardly at first, but then with ease, Parvati brought Ginny in for a hug that lasted for longer than she would have expected. She hadn’t realised how touch-starved she was until Ginny nuzzled her head into the crook of her neck, making her blush. It was nice, having someone to confide in, someone who didn’t sap you of your energy or expect answers from you. She hadn’t realised she had needed it.

“This feels dumb, complaining about him when there’s so much going on,” Ginny confessed into Parvati’s shoulder. “And he’s not even my boyfriend anymore, anyway.”  
“Not dumb,” she insisted. “You shouldn’t bottle things up. And that _is_ something that’s going on - it’s part of all this.”

Ginny sighed, rearranged herself so they were just leaning into one another on the sofa, no longer actively embracing but still touching. Parvati liked it - it meant Ginny wanted to have physical contact, too.  
“Sometimes I feel so bitter because he hardly said anything to me before going. Well, he said plenty, but it wasn’t enough.” Parvati hummed her understanding, chin brushing Ginny’s hair.   
“It never would’ve been enough, though, would it have? If you want to be with someone, they’ll never say anything to convince you that you shouldn’t be,” Parvati mused. Ginny turned her head to look up at her.   
“Maybe not. I just want to have someone. It might be lame, and I don’t _need_ anyone, but I want to have someone around who doesn’t feel like they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, so much so that they don’t have time for me.”

“I could be that,” Parvati blurted out without thinking, before snapping her mouth shut. She tried to gather herself together, before going in to correct herself. “In whatever capacity. It’s just that, I’ve hung about with you a lot this year and I always feel like you kind of get what I’m saying, even if I’m not really saying it. So maybe we could help each other out, is what I mean.”

Ginny seemed to hesitate for a moment, and Parvati wished she hadn’t spoken. So much for being less impulsive. She was pleasantly surprised by the way Ginny shuffled in closer to rest her head on her chest instead of her shoulder.

“Yeah, alright then. Just don’t go running off anywhere without me.”


End file.
